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Moon Dance - The Dragon's Mortal Morsel
I don't bite... much
kendaer
kendaer
Moon Dance
I have always, always loved the song Moondance by Van Morrison. For the past couple months though, my brain has been saying, y'know, you really need a werewolf parody of that..

Well, my brain finally coughed up the goods (much like a hairball).


Moon Dance
ttto: Moondance by Van Morrison

Well it's a marvelous night to go prowling,
as the stars overhead light the skies.
It's a fabulous night to be howling,
on the trail of my prey and its cries.
And the sound of my paws will be falling
on the ground with the ice and the snow
And I'm hearing the moon dance; it's calling
As the beast in my blood starts to grow.
I feel the moon's magic;
Start to shimmer and blur.
And then the full moon's light
Seems to shine in my fur...

Can't I just have one more moon dance, tonight, my dear?
Can't I just stop the moon's advance, tonight, my dear?

Well, I wanna chase after you all night
And I'll hope that the morning won't come
Cause I know that the time is just right
As straight into my jaws you will run.
And when you come my dear, I'll be waiting
To make sure that I'm never alone
There and then all my dreams will come true dear
There and then I will make you my own
Now feel the change starting;
as your beast comes alive.
Leave all your fears behind you,
As you learn, to survive.

Can't I just have one more moon dance, tonight, my dear?
Can't I just stop the moon's advance, tonight, my dear?

Well it's a marvelous night to go prowling,
as the stars overhead light the skies.
It's a fabulous night to be howling,
on the trail of our prey and its cries.
And the sound of our paws will be falling
on the ground with the ice and the snow
And we're hearing the moon dance; it's calling
As the beast in our blood starts to grow.
We feel the moon's magic;
Start to shimmer and blur.
And then the full moon's light
Seems to shine in our fur...

Can't we just have one more moon dance, tonight, my dear?
Can't we just stop the moon's advance, tonight, my dear?


I'm not 100% certain it's 'done' yet, but I'm pretty happy with it.

Edit: After a bit of fiddling I came up with a better second line of the couplet that preserved the original internal rhyme.. Happy making :)
Edit the second: I am also perfectly happy with people offering critique where deserved on any lyrics I post here (one person commented privately that they weren't always willing to offer critique unless they knew it was looked for, so I wanted to clarify that).

Tags: ,
Current Location: @work
Current Mood: devious wolfish
Current Music: Van Morrison - Moondance

13 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
(Deleted comment)
kendaer From: kendaer Date: February 20th, 2009 11:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
The moon's magic line is pretty tight to the original there, so while there might be a bobble, I'm not sure it's mine :)

I agree that the second line of the couplet is awkward, which is why I'm not 100% sure the song is done. That and at least one other place where the scansion feels a touch forced and I want to make it better, but haven't found the better yet :)
(Deleted comment)
kendaer From: kendaer Date: February 21st, 2009 02:24 am (UTC) (Link)
Actually, I do put the emphasis on the words 'I Feel', but that's not where it naturally wants to fall. All that's really required is a slight de-emphasis on the 'Ma' part of magic to make it sound reasonably natural though.
kendaer From: kendaer Date: February 20th, 2009 11:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
I found a better second line for the couplet... And I'm pretty sure the reason it felt awkward was that I lost the internal moondance/romance rhyme from the original which I have now recovered.
From: technoshaman Date: February 20th, 2009 10:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
ouOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooh :)
janeg From: janeg Date: February 20th, 2009 11:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
I like that! I love Moondance and may try to learn this.

In his parody-writing workshop, Jeff Bonhoff said to do just what you did - match the original even when it has problems.
kendaer From: kendaer Date: February 20th, 2009 11:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, and yes, staying true to the original will *almost* always make for a better parody.

I did manage to fix the one line I was least happy with, and I'm fairly sure I'll end up tweaking a couple of other places unless I am much happier with them when I sing through it at home along with the original than I am when I'm singing it along with my internal jukebox version (which possibly has some fidelity issues :) )
lisakit From: lisakit Date: February 21st, 2009 12:34 am (UTC) (Link)

oooooh!

One more scansion problem though? Count the syllables in verse 2, line 3. Change "time" to "timing" maybe?

I really like it and would love a chance to hear it sung. Nice job!
kendaer From: kendaer Date: February 21st, 2009 01:55 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: oooooh!

What Melissa said :) I finally got home and was able to actually run the *real* song rather than just my internal jukebox version of it against the lyrics and (happily) it does work in all the places I was concerned about.
shaddyr From: shaddyr Date: February 21st, 2009 03:12 am (UTC) (Link)
I likes. I would sing this, scansion bobble or no.

*snicker*

I can make the Quadratic Equation song work and I still say it scans. As if scansion ever scared me away from a filk in the first place.
kendaer From: kendaer Date: February 21st, 2009 09:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Heheh.. Please, feel free to sing this :) I'm actually pretty proud of how it came out :)
butterflydrming From: butterflydrming Date: February 21st, 2009 11:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Fun!
kat_merle From: kat_merle Date: February 22nd, 2009 04:57 am (UTC) (Link)
Want to hear it sung a few times then choreograph a foxtrot too it. Someone want to record it soon enough so I can have it choreographed and each it to someone to perform for Halloween?
kendaer From: kendaer Date: February 22nd, 2009 05:14 am (UTC) (Link)
Not sure if it'll happen, but if it does, I'll get you a copy.
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